What does it mean to be unapologetically yourself? Open about the things which drive you and make you unique. Real about the knottier stuff.

I am not always unapologetic. And yet, I live to connect.

Like lots of people, some of my protected characteristics are not obvious. While this can be a privilege when existing in unsafe spaces, it can also lead to reveals which cause rejection or isolation.

I’ve been pondering a therapeutic conversation about the myriad ways in which people pass as something they are not, based on the assumptions of others. Specifically, whether we should do that as inclusive therapists and counsellors.

Silence is encouraged in several teachings. In intersectional therapies there is generally more self disclosure, when appropriate, showing the client that you are a safe person for them to share with.

Reluctance toward this kind of sharing can be wrapped up in our own identity based shame. From past ignorance or judgement of others, or internalised messaging on what is “normal” (in environments where heterosexual, cis, white and male is shown to be the default). This can hinder progress on ours, or another’s journey, causing additional anxiety and stress.

I believe it is deserving of ongoing work so have started sharing more unapologetic truth in conversation. Offering authenticity a seat at the table and inviting others to do so. Sitting in that uneasy space after. Vulnerability. Followed by potential rejection, acceptance, or even connection.

If inclusive counselling is something you would like to explore, please get in touch for an initial discussion on how it can help you. I have availability for online sessions from wherever you are in the UK, or in-person appointments in Bow, east London, with easy access to Bethnal Green and Hackney.